Black Baby White Hands meets Facing the Giants

I have completed my first summer reading, which was a very eye opening and intriguing book. The author, Jaiya John, is an African American adoptee who was adopted into a white family in 1968, the same year Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated. The book is his autobiography of a Black child growing up in a White family, neighborhood, country, and culture. He gives great insight into his personal struggles in forming his identity as a transracial adoptee.

And now my simplistic view of inter-racial adoption has forever been changed. At times the book left me feeling in over my head, too ambitious and juvenile in our decision, unprepared and inexperienced, and sometimes completely unfit. Now that my eyes are (more) wide open to the complexity of inter-racial adoption I find myself fearful and questioning my parenting abilities.

Love can cover a multitude of imperfections, but I now know that it will not cover everything, specifically my perceived laziness/indifference to my child’s ethnicity. I will have to step up and make conscious decisions and choices to become first a student and then a teacher of my child’s culture and heritage. It will need to become authentically part of my own culture. This is exciting and at the same times a bit daunting.

Eric and I enjoy learning about and experiencing other cultures. However, I look around and honestly reflect on: our community, our church, our group of friends, and our family, our day to day interactions and routines, and I see very little authentic interaction with African Americans, Ethiopian Americans, or people from other ethnicities or cultural groups. We subconsciously stick to what is comfortable: socio-economically, religiously (Anabaptist), culturally similar to our own. As a more introverted couple, thinking of forcing ourselves into the uncomfortable is frightening and feels like a lot of work.

HOWEVER: God reminded me last night of some very important truths that trump ALL of these “heavy” feelings. Eric and I went to see (for the first time) Facing the Giants at our church’s movie night. I was not expecting to find inspiration and motivation for adoption issues in a “sports” movie. Needless to say God used it and I was shocked to tears on several occasions. For example, one of these occasions was after the Eagles had won the state championship and Grant was moving from teammate to teammate and asking them individually “Is there anything God can’t do? Is there anything impossible for God?” It was like the question was asked directly to me, “April, is there anything I can’t do? Is inter-racial adoption and parenting bigger than Me?”

“No, God! Of course not! But it feels so much bigger than me.”

“And that is where I will receive all the glory.”

“Oh. . . . . . . . Oh!!”

God, may You be glorified in our triumphs and our failures as parents. May You shine through our weaknesses in spite of our fears. Help us to be the David’s that with Your help stand to face our Giants. Amen.