The past month has really had my head spinning. Our family has been given a very heavy and sad prognosis about this pregnancy and baby. I still can read Psalms 139 and know God has it all in his hands and in his control. He knew before Eric and I met and married that we would have this journey of adoption, infertility and birth defects; one of continual love and fear of loss. It has been painful and stretching. We have learned so much about one another, our faith, our friends and family. Even now, we feel girded in his grace and peace through loved ones prayers and petitions.
I will never fully understand, nor desire to understand the "why" and "how" or the "fairness" of it all. But I do give my joys and my heartaches to the One who knows me best. Psalm 139 also applies to me, as well as, every foe, friend, child, loved one, student, stranger, or grandparent. It is comforting to know. I can't fix it. I can release what is not in my control. It just took awhile to figure out that throwing a temper tantrum doesn't get us our way. Sometimes accepting what we can't have is what our Parent wants from us the most. But Daddy God always gives his children the best gifts. And my best gifts are my beautiful son, Isaac, and my loving husband, Eric. I am blessed beyond measure!
Even as our family waits and waits for the best and the pre-spoken fate of our little one, it is a blessing to have this time of kicks and squirms; the wonderment of pregnancy. It is the calm before the storms of life. And I am cherishing this one . . . and this Thanksgiving season. Blessings to you and your family!
Now for some pictures!!!
Birthday Boy tearing into his birthday cake!! Who suggested red velvet for a 1-year-old's birthday! Ooops.
Isaac opening his presents and figuring out how they work (or being shown how to rip open his presents and how fun new toys can be).
Isaac's Aunt Anya and Great Aunt Mariann wrote and illustrated a book, just for him. It was amazing to watch him intently listen to the story and look at the pictures through the entire official Book Reading. What a treasure and heart felt, priceless gift!
Thanksgiving! Isaac is a walking pro! He never will let me take a candid photo. As soon as he sees the camera he wants to hold it and look at the pictures on the screen. This is him "running" for the camera!
